001: Sloth.

Location: Ang Mo Kio Library
Mood: Tired

Hi all,

In the first of my seven-part series on the 7 deadly sins,
I wanna share “Sloth” today.
There is an interesting trait about my siblings.
Let’s start from the toilet (I’m sure!).

Part of our family expenses goes to our toiletries,
Since 3 of us (2 sisters) are sharing the toilet,
The “hidden” battle starts everyday,
Starting from the toothpaste…

Toothpaste:
How do you determine when to get a new one?
When you can’t squeeze anything out?
So how do you define “can’t squeeze anything out”?

From a new tube (We like pressing from the middle),
As the days go by,
Mr Darlie begin to age,
Till one day he can’t stand upright anymore.

We then start to squeeze from the bottom,
And of course, Mr Darlie began to be thinner,
Till he has to be bedridden (lying on the basin).
But we are determined to get more.

Till this moment, none of us will be bothered to get a new tube,
So we try means and ways,
Using every bit of strength,
We squeeze the sides, bottom, slowly pushing up.

Rolling starts when we get too lazy to waste any precious time,
This is to prevent backflow of the toothpaste.
We never gave up, even when there’s nothing left to roll,
We still give it our last shot – the bottleneck of the tube!

Till the unlucky person (mostly me),
Rushes to the toilet one morning,
Squeeze from all sides – tried.
Re-roll the entire tube – failed.
Bottleneck – last hope.

I then have to get the new tube (#%^&^##^!@#…)
And new battle starts…………………………………..

Soap/Shampoo:
We have this unwanted, not so nice smelling,
Neglected bottle of soap that we never really like,
So we hid it deep inside the other toiletries,
For conveniences of not stretching too much (talking about sloth!).

So we use the new nice smelling soap everyday,
(We use the pump type, not the pouring),
Till one day we find difficulty in pumping out
(alarm ringing!) S***, the soap is finishing!!

We have to pump 3 times for the usual amount,
3 days passed with no one bothers to refill it.
Then there’s nothing left and
We can’t squeeze/roll it.

Never mind…..
Fill the bottle with water,
Battle continues till…
Supposedly the soap does not feel soap anymore (silent snigger..)

From Mariah Carey’s “Hero”
“And then a Hero comes along…..”

Foamy (notice how we re-term that unwanted bottle),
Nice-smelling,
Moisturising soap,
Comes to the rescue.

Till Mom comes along and re-filled it for us…………….
And now,
This is all that is left from our super “sub” soap.

Mum: Ah boy ar… Go fill up the soap..
Me: Orh.. (Looking at sis) !@#$%^%@

Sis: *looking elsewhere innocently*

Let’s see what happens when it’s used up…….

Toilet paper:
This is easy to guess.
10 rolls – ready, set, ROLL!
Do you throw away the cardboard roll when it’s done?
Cos we DON’T…

We leave it hanging on the roller,
Then we started putting the new roll behind us (the toilet pump)
And more cardboard rolls appearing (Mom’s damn pissed about this).
So we found new place to put each time.

Now – down to final roll.
As usual, we get worried.
Will anyone go to the storeroom and get a new bag.
NO…

We begin to use lesser of the common toilet,
We start rushing to the master bedroom’s.
Mum got curious,
Then got pissed.

And as usual…
Mom gets it done for us!
============================
At the end,
I like to thank the following person.
Mum – the greatest!

But these are the little priceless happenings,
That i termed – “childhood memories”.

When we start to grow older,
And begin to have our own homes,
We will certainly miss fighting with each other.